Stoned

For many years it took me to admit,
My addiction to keep my peace of mind...
Hidden.
And hopefully not have noticed,
I was high and quite stoned.
Feeling guilty.
About my need to stay happy,
Everyday of each week.

And...
There were times,
I even went out of my way...
Trying to feel depressed.
Wanting to get along with others,
Complaining over nothing.
But for them this had been their way of life.
Until they discovered,
I had been an undercover optimist.

Today?
Knowing I had betrayed,
Those seeking to find...
Anything to moan and whine about.
I laugh.
And not always quietly.
Whenever I am around negative people.
Done to do and pretend,
A feeling happy all the time...
With nothing to complain about.
Has driven me crazed.
Into an irreversible psychological madness!

And for whatever the reason,
They accept me as I am.
With a giving of their respectful,
Yet pitiful looks of concern.

'Stay up, my brutha.
One day it will be okay.
Pray and keep the faith!'