Dying to Live

Bravely doing all he can to ensure life goes as he intends! A lost, damaged - almost broken soul, constantly draining himself from hope love and happiness.

Dying in attempts to live, but in actuality, seems as if he’s only preparing to die! Tirelessly, in every effort - doing all he knows, simply trying to breakthrough!

Impulsively catering to self pleasures and unhealthy ways.

He’s always in motion. Busying self with things, people, or an experience - in retreat from an unpleasant, clouded, sometimes harsh reality! Constantly, he’s at war with such vibrant, peaceful, happy versions of himself.

Crying out, desperately trying to connect with what’s inside and the universe around him.. he’s drowning rapidly.. only to now, for the first time in his life experience how beautiful life really is or “could be”.

Frantically trying to get back above water.
Now fighting harder than ever before to change self destructive behaviors and ways of thinking!
Learning to generate love and good energies back into his life, while making sense of things the best that he can for how he sees them.

Although he’s feeling close to burnout, he refuses to give up!

Somewhat hopeful of changes that could be soon to come! However, also very fearful of monsters created from what’s been.

After being his own worst enemy & not sufficiently loving self as he should, negative familiarities of before tend to overrule any positive efforts making  it seemingly impossible to see things in a new light!

While already faced with many other things, he’s become more scared than before on what’s next! Subconsciously he accepts whatever comes, fearing he’s incapable of change.. he’s completely unsure with not much confidence in a future!

Knowing that life is precious and doesn’t pause for anyone, he wonders how - if ever, will he be able to succeed in cancelling out all of what’s been?

Will the next “escape” in efforts to detach from whatever he’s feeling be the last?
Will he apply all that he knows and continue to push through? Or will he lose to life itself?

Dying! While at most times, only fighting.. simply trying to “live”