I miss you

I remember your smell, your soft blue eyes     your love enveloped me like the sofest of blankets, I welcomed it, I miss it ...you were the first person to teach me love, its unconditional,  its cheeky secrets- sweets slipped to you when they shouldn't have been, hugs when others tell you off     I remember you brushing my hair, the intimacy was only me and you, in later years I put rollers in your hair, you helped me.look my best now I help you.        You stood up for me, you corrected me, you snuck me cigarettes in the kitchen. You tucked me in, your flocked sheets and blankets are etched in my brain and on my body. ...I was never cold, never hungry, times were special,  precious even.   I spoke to you every day,....always before home and away, a quick hello, more serious stuff ...you always called back but after your programme.     I called you, we chatted, you ended the call as normal,  god bless, I love you, be happy, an hour later you were gone.     I wish  I'd made more effort called you earlier and for longer,  you raised me when others didn't,  you guided me when others couldn't,  you loved me when other wouldn't,  I love you nan,