My Tragic Reality.

I wake up again
Another day awaits.
If only everyone around me knew,
How badly I want to quit.
No matter what I do or say,
I somehow manage to feel the same way.

Voices in my mind,
Mumbling terrible things.
Telling me I’ll never make it,
Be who I want to be.
I try and I try,
To fight this feeling.
But the harder I fight the more
Tired I’m becoming.

You can tell me lies,
Just like everyone else.
That one day I won’t
Quote on quote “feel this way”
That I should just, “hang in there”
How can you know that?
I just want your honesty,
Why is it that you even think
That one day I’ll change?

Whether it’s my perspective,
Lifestyle or attitude.
I say no, for the, me I am
is the only one I care to know.
You can call me, grim or dark,
It doesn’t matter anymore.

Maybe once upon a time, I cared for opinions,
That person however died a long time ago.
I finally get off the bed,
Put on my bedside slippers,
Pour myself some coffee.
Trying so desperately,
to escape this tragic reality.

Yes, I am lonely,
But what is my escape?
Should I do what that voice is telling me?
Should I just quit?
That’ll obviously be the easy way out,
After all, no one will miss me.

Or perhaps I’ll go on pretending,
Fake a smile, act all cheery.
I guess that’s what they’d expect of me,
My family, friends, colleagues,
Everyone apparently.
To fit into their “my life is perfect” fantasy.

As I finish getting dressed for the office,
Tears water down my face.
My reflection staring back at me,
I don’t even recognize my own face.
How did I get here?
I wasn’t always like this...

After all no one ever thinks that,
They could someday become an empty abyss.
“Oh damn!” I sigh angrily at myself,
I’ll miss the morning train,
These thoughts consumed me,
Once again.

As I make my way to the office,
I fake a smile saying hello to everyone.
For no one can know the secrets that,
Tear me down.
After all they might use it against me,
For the world is not as “hopeful” as one may think.
We merely fall prey to society.