Unconditionally painful

I often find myself lost in the idea, of what once was between you and me.... It's an extremely heart-wrenching fact to know, simply that every bit of the warmth we once knew, has seemed to grow so cold and askew. I never thought this could be true, but things in life change, people especially do, we fall out of love and start to judge the ones we once never could, even if it breaks them apart and destroys every bit of their hearts, we still choose to believe in the worse possible rumors no matter how unbelievable or unreliable the source. I am still so astounded that you could be so easily confounded by all the talk that surrounded my life when you've lived alongside me for so long, and now even your own thoughts seem to have gotten the best of you. Now you have such horribly malicious and degrading thoughts swirling around in your mind and no matter what I do to try and prove I'm not who they say I am and that I do not do the things you accuse of me, and it kills me to that I even have to try so hard to try and prove my points to you.... I'm not the person you remember me to be yes this is now true, but I am only human, and currently I am being put through certain trials and tribulations, it's how the world strengthens our morals and views and helps to show us what is really Important and who will actually do what they claim when they spoke of always being there for you, unfortunately now I've realized we are all just alone with no one around to catch you before you smash to the ground they all just watch as you fall taking photos to post up on their wall with a witty caption all for the sake of a couple of "likes" when this is in fact my pitiful life that you've taken and construed to be something so different from its reality. I'm not sure what's more painful…finding out the one you thought would love you on the absolutely worse days instead attack you, then join in with that crowd at the bottom of your demise or the realization that they never believe anything you've ever said, if they did then you wouldn't be looking up at them all broken while they act as if you are nothing to them. The pain of their rejection hurts worse than any blow endured before by their hand. I'm out of ways to express who I am and why I do anything and what I mean when I say anything I say, but I want you to know this, the people who truly have that unconditional love in the purest of forms will not believe all the nonsense when you tell them it's not your truth, and they will believe in your words, after all that's what I try to do for those who I love I try not to get caught up in the gossip of the world and now the most hardening part of this all is the fact I still and forever will love you, because you see my love is free and burns with such a furostiy, that even though I have my faults, I believe what you say and don't misconstrue and inadvertently to make you feel betrayed meaning you'll never see me with the crowd looking down upon you, unconditionally I will be there for you even when its killing me because everyone has the right to be who they are, I have chosen to love you for who you are even if you can not do the same.