.i'm fine.

How many years must i lie until i believe it? Every time i speak, my voice feels foreign. my chords tremble and a sound is mustered, but never my own. my lips shape and form, but the words are unrecognizable. To be honest, i never realize i’ve spoken until it’s over. Until my brain finally catches up and realizes that it was never my intention. They were never my words.
       How many days must i live until I Am? my hands move, fingers twitch, legs rise, feet land. But i am never sure if they are my own. my own intentions, my own actions, my own desires. i am never sure. Every action unnoticed until complete. Every thought lagging behind, until it’s too late. i am never sure.
       In the grand scheme of things, i have been here but for a fleeting moment. A blink, a blip within the eyes of Yhe Universe. But do we not all have our own? Our own infinates our own timelines our own forever? i have existed forever. There is no before...i was here then. But the funny thing is, is that i will not be there after. i will not be there once my forever has ended.
       And so i ask myself: What’s The Point? my forever will not last forever and there will be a time when my ending comes. When your ending comes. When ending comes. It's a scary feeling knowing there’s absolutely nothing to be done. i was here and then i will not. So what? Does everything have meaning, is it sacred, is it meant to be held and cherished?

Or are We All going to fucking die?