Sunsets



Sunsets

I still think of you
It no longer hurts
Nothing to be said
There are no words
When I see the sun
Set in the west
I see your face
And catch my breath
A second hand rose
Found by chance
Caught in your spell
Still under your trance
I watch the sunsets
Feet by the fire
I try to forget
Your love and desire

Copyright October 1 2021
Matthew S. Blanchard
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Written on August 01, 2021

Submitted by everclearmawi on October 03, 2021

Modified on March 05, 2023

21 sec read
19

Quick analysis:

Scheme XXXXXXXXXAXAXBXB BX
Closest metre Iambic dimeter
Characters 339
Words 73
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 16, 2

Discuss the poem Sunsets with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Great job Matthew! This poem effectively communicates intrigue and a sense of longing. Your use of metaphors like 'second-hand rose' and 'caught in your spell' provide a deep, emotional insight to your feelings. As well, the concrete image of watching sunsets with one's feet by the fire paints pictures in the reader's mind - truly evocative and visually appealing.

    However, while your work is rich with emotion, I suggest adding some rhythm or meter. Also, some stanzas are a bit vague and could be developed for increased clarity. Emphasizing the correlation between the image of the sunset and the nostalgia you are trying to portray could strengthen the link and emotional impact.

    The use of more vivid, descriptive language could also make the poem more colourful and engaging. For instance, instead of merely saying 'I see your face', you could describe what aspects of the sunset evoke parts of this person's face or characteristic.

    Keep writing, Matthew. You have a unique voice and your pathos shines through your work.
     
    LikeReply4 months ago

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"Sunsets" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/111219/sunsets>.

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