Back to square one

It is hard for me to be back to square one
I know that I am carrying this heavy burden for a long time
It is hard for me to be back to square one
Because every time something happens to my life
I have to be back to square one
Starting over my life is hard
Planning my life is hard
And get back to my life the way it was
I don't know why I am so hard on myself?
I don't know why I keep punishing myself?
I think that is because I am so stubborn
That I keep doing it over and over again
Don't I get hurt with that?
Yes I do get hurt with that
I can't understand why I hurt myself so much
It is hard for me to go back to square one
So many bad things happened this month
That I am angry with myself
Why did I let this Happened?
That is because I didn't see it coming my way
Why didn't I see it coming my way?
I guess I couldn't see the warnings coming
I can say to myself that this time there was no warnings
How will my life be now?
It will get better?
It can't get any worst than it is
It only has to get better again
I am the one that have to work hard to make it better
I want to live my life to the fullest
And do the best I can
I am so ashamed of the things I've done
It thorns my heart to pieces
And it destroys my life completely
Jail is not a place for me
I don't want to see that place any more
I am working hard to stay out of there
I suffered so much this month
I hope that I don't have to suffer any more
I want a little bit of peace
I want some hugs
I want someone that I can talk with
Back to square one
Back to square one
Back to square one
Back to square one