Do You Ever Want to Change?

I feel dizzy
Counting specks of light on this empty street
Vision’s blurry
Words of my supposed friends on repeat

“Do you ever want to change?
Don’t you think you need an upgrade?
If you ever want to find love
You can’t stay this way
You’re too annoying sometimes
Maybe fix that
Stop fighting off oncoming highs
Face the damn facts
People love to call you lonely
How can you accept that?
Let me help you rewrite your story
Put you on the right track.”

Well, dear supposed friend
Have you considered that outlining my flaws
Is not the right path for a right end
And maybe I’m happy drafting my own laws

I admit I can be dramatic
What can I say, I find it attractive
I nag and whine, part of my tactic
But at least I’ve never been radioactive

I am completely, perfectly fine
With the way my story’s written
I don’t need your maladaptive opinions
I might not be one to shine
In public places, but when I’m alone
I’m the brightest of all stones

This personality
Is unapologetically me
I never want it to change
Comfortable in my range
And if you have a problem with it
Get out of my life, I don’t give a shit

(And by the way this is brutal honesty
What you said only aimed to hurt me)

Who are you to decide if I’m worthy?
You don’t know the first thing about me
Or my real family
Or my bloody history
Or my inner peace treaties
Or how I broke myself free

Your only job is to talk apparently
Nonsensically
Condescendingly
Makes me want to punch you right on your crooked teeth
If you’re the moon, I am the sun
At the end of this long summer’s run
I’m not saying I’m better than everyone
I’m just saying I’m better than you
Leave me alone, you insensitive brute

My face is covered in scars
From my past spars
With crippling anxiety
The battle might still be going on
But I’ve weakened the enemy
Now it looks like you want to side with him
Go ahead
I’ll weaken you too
I’m covered in red
But at least I’m true
And I’ll say it again
I have thousands of friends
Who would actually defend me
So if you want you can leave
But if you decide to stay
Only one of us has to change
And it’s definitely not me.