Dive or Drown

For years I've been lost in the darkness,

Drowned in the ocean that is my mind.

It's been like this since before I can remember.

Lost. Scared. Alone.

Waves crashing down on me,

Flailing around in an ocean of my own tears

Tears that were never dried,

Just collected,

Into a pool.

And just when I had given up hope,

Just when I was about to sink,

A kiss,

Pulled me up out of the water

And high up into the sky.

The lips pull away

And there you are.

I see you on the horizon.

You are the sun,

Rising,

Lighting up the darkness.

I see you below me.

You are the clear smooth water,

Finally allowing me to see my reflection,

And finally allowing me to believe that it's beautiful.

I see you as a boat.

Saving me from the sea.

I see you as the shore,

Finally, no longer lost.

I see you as a house,

A place that I can call my home.

I see you all around me.

You're the crystal blue sky,

Shining for miles,

Holding me up,

Letting me fly.

Everything

I see as you.

You are all of this in one.

It all happened so fast,

It's hard to believe it's real.

It's hard to believe

That this smile

Plastered on my face

Is real.

It's all so frighteningly real.

I'm afraid to accept it,

Because

If all of this beauty

Could be caused by one single soul,

In one single moment,

It could all be destroyed,

Demolished

Just the same.

So,

I think to myself,

Should I leap into this,

Jump into the beautiful clear water full of mystery?

Do I dive into the unknown,

Or do I let myself drown?