New Beginnings

It’s almost amusing putting this down again, feelings that in my mind are a stain.
Everything is flashing forward, I can’t keep using darkness as a cane.
I know there is light, so close that my heart is separating through the shadows and hurt.
For so many years I have surrendered myself to all things negative and I struggle not to revert.
Can this lightness feeling me with laughter and happiness continue diminishing the negative be real?
Is there really a chance for me to love myself and work past how I have always known to feel?
I have been hurt in so many ways for so long, that is all I have ever known.
So much hatred inside that I truly believed my heart was as empty and cold as a stone.
You are nothing, dumb, empty, you will never amount to anything ideas that have engulfed my mind.
Abuse in all aspects; physical, sexual, mental, was life for 10 years, an ending everything was all that I wanted to find.
Sorrow so deep within, I felt it was impossible to feel this welcoming love.
Feeling like I matter, that I have a purpose, a meaning knowing I can rise above.
Thankful for all that has happened, it has made me who I am, someone I am happy to see.
Thankful for the journey that lies ahead and the ability to be free.
Taking all the pain and hurt, using it to become my best self, using it to be apart of the light.
Throwing the desperation to feel needed/wanted, moving past the yearning for more and finding peace in this fight.
Seeing I am beautiful, strong, worth more than I ever imagined to think.
Knowing that no matter what I am loved and the darkness that once ruled my entity will forever sink.