THERE’S A WALL INSIDE MY HEAD

With apologies to the Musical
( ‘….about Jamie..’)

In my iterative mind , I sit and ponder
What life is all about, I wonder
So many obstacles make you mad
There’s a wall inside my head

I cannot seem to move ahead
My head is abutting against it
My head has been done in
There’s a wall inside my head
A wall inside my head

My life went to the wall
on Twentieth of July
In the year Twenty Twenty
When my daughter was taken
from me cruelly
There’s a wall inside my head
A wall inside my head

I look up and imagine
what’s beyond that blue sky
Orange and pinkish sheen
Lighter clouds higher high
My anguish cannot hide
Blew my rafters away in a tide
There’s a wall in my head inside
A wall inside my head

I gaze over the waters
The seas and the rivers
Mystical and secretive they are
Astounding creatures deep in there
My loss and grief I survive
There’s a wall in my head inside
A wall inside my head
There’s a wall inside my head

At the end of my journey
At the end of my life
All my dreams shattered
At the altar of the wall
my failures scattered
There’s a wall inside my head
A wall inside my head

A gnawing numbness lingers inside
My deep sense of loss cannot hide
There’s a wall in my head inside
A wall inside my head
A wall inside my head

My soul inside the wall
Wants to scream and crawl
To shatter the wall
In million pieces mauled
To make the heavens weep
But my eyes can not seep
Any tears out albeit
My unrelenting grief
There’s a wall inside
me deep
A wall inside my head
There’s a wall in my head inside

My pent up emotions in crescendo
Are boiling in a simmering volcano
Some day soon the rim will give way
The wall inside my head will sway
Breaking out my deeper wounds
I long to cry like howling hounds
To make the heavens weep
There’s a wall inside me deep
A wall in my head inside
A wall inside my head.