Sobriety

Step by step,
Minute by minute,
Hour by hour,
Day by day,
Every breath I take,
I need it and want it,
Seven years have passed,
Trials and tribulations,
The good, bad and indifferent,
Then the depression kicked in,
The demons got louder,
Her light began to fade,
Emotions unchecked,
Bottled up for years,
All that pain, regret and sorrow,
It's all coming crashing down,
She's falling apart,
Tears filling her eyes,
Her heart is in pieces,
She's overwhelmed,
She contemplates her decisions,
Slowly she grabs the shot glass,
Wanders her way to the chest,
It's locked in the back of the closet,
As she breaks her lock,
She grabs the bottle,
Pours the glass,
Then lifts the bottle to her lips,
One gulp at a time,
Finally she looks at the shot glass,
Still filled to the brim,
She falls to her knees,
Throws her head in her hands,
She curls into a ball,
Releasing with every breath,
She finds the strength,
She gets back up,
Takes that final shot,
Then realizes in the end,
She didn't fail,
Yes she stumbled with her sobriety,
But her heart was at ease,
Her mind was clear,
She felt a little more free,
She needed the break,
The outlet she couldn't see,
The feelings she couldn't fight,
She needed that help,
Though detached from everything,
That once an addiction,
It became a temporary key,
To a permanent solution,
She held her head up high,
As the days passed,
She feared her cravings,
But they never came,
She smiled inside,
As she marked day 1 on her calendar,
She felt no tugging shame,
She felt no remorse,
Just a sudden feeling,
It washed over her,
Something she never felt before,
Relief the feeling of relief,
She fell off the wagon but,
The knowledge of knowing,
She didn't want another drink,
She just wants to keep going.