Inner Battles

Danyettia Crawford 1985 (United States)



What do I do
when I’m constantly in my thoughts
And selfishly I pull away from you
Is it the fear of being love
That causes the walls that I tend to put up
To keep people out sent to give love
But unknowingly I push away and I give up
Am I my own disaster that self destruct
What do i do when I’m scared to love

Could it be that I’m unfulfilled by the very things that I hold dear to my heart
Or is this a pattern that I’ve recreated to break my own heart

Let me deal with my own truths
 is it that because I doubt me that I doubt you
Or is this merely a reflection of all the past hurt that still lingers and I hold onto

See the battle isn’t with me and you
It’s between the person I use to be and the person I’m changing into

I realize no matter how much I run I can never escape me
So I deflect my hurt and pain on those closest sent to love me

But honestly what do I do
I question your love because uncertainty I dare not face
Walking into the unknown just doesn’t feel safe
It’s a scary thought to risk being hurt
So I force conflict despite the fact losing you would still hurt

It’s a funny thing when you think of your makeup
That is
the inner parts of you not the beauty outside but what makes your heart honest and true

So here’s the thing I found to be true
I struggle to be loved because I struggle to love too
I pull and force away those that begin to break down my wall
To afraid to just risk it all

What do I do when love becomes a scary and hard thing to do

About this poem

This poem is about the very inner battles most people face in trying to become a better version of themselves and learning how to love. The past hurts, obstacles, denials, and life experienced has a way of creating self doubt.

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Written on June 25, 2021

Submitted by Shae1 on September 05, 2021

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:33 min read
6

Quick analysis:

Scheme AXABCBCXB DD XAA AA EE AXXFF CXA AAGG A
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 1,469
Words 310
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 9, 2, 3, 2, 2, 5, 3, 4, 1

Danyettia Crawford

IN MY POEMS I usually do not share my poems because they are sacred to me It is the place of no judgement where my feelings can be released In my poems is the best part of me This has been my outlet of things that has now set me free In poem is some of the greatest challenges I have faced But also, of the experiences that molded me into the woman I am today I have experienced a lot of joy but pain too Held myself responsible even for the things I never knew I grew into poems and them into me My heart is exposed through each word you read I allow vulnerability because the same poems I write are the same ones that saved me Heartbreak and lost I have endured it all Learned how to trust God and always stand tall Mistakes I made taught me the best In poems I surrendered my stress Depression hit like being overtaken by a wave But through my poems unbroken I stayed I am a book many dare not to read Mislead by the thought of knowing me In my poems is my reality often altered with some fantasy I am just me and I give my all So, as you read my poems, I hope I can make you smile more…

All Danyettia Crawford poems | Danyettia Crawford Books

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    "Inner Battles" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/108607/inner-battles>.

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