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BURNHAM DECONNECTS



I've just been told by Burnham
That they'll come down on me hard,
If I don't sign up with Losers Inc.
And activate my deconnect card.

Deconnect is a sort of credit card
That lets you pay your rent,
But the fees and charges are hellishly high
You know it's usury-bent.

‘Cause Burnham doesn't like holding cash
They want you to cop high fees,
And God help anyone who holds out ‘cause
They'll make your life a misery.

Burnham knows how to play hardball
They've done it many times before,
They'll pick you up and toss you skyward
Then knock you to the floor.

So when they tell you that
It's time for you to deconnect,
You'd better take them at their word
Or they'll see your life is wrecked.

Deconnect card will may you mighty poor
But it will make Burnham's life so easy,
So payout through the nose my man
‘Cause Burnham can get sleazy.

Burnham has many bodies hidden
In closets and out in paddocks,
So payout now and avoid more grief
Or you'll be out looking for a pawn shop:

To pawn off all your worldly goods
So you can move out into the street,
‘Cause Burnham fight dirty and never lose
So it's wise to seek relief.

So deconnect as they want you to
Though it just doesn't make any sense,
Or Burnham will take it anyway
Just by hiking up your rent.

Though the fees are high and benefits scarce
Deconnect is what you have to do,
Or else Heaven help you brother or sister
When Burnham gets through with you.

THE END
© Copyright 2021 Philip Roberts
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

About this poem

Written at a time when Burnham Real Estate was trying to force renters to use an easy payment system called Connect to pay their rent. The only problem was that Connect charged up to $50 a month transfer fees. Far in excess of what I could afford to pay at that time.

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Written on February 27, 2009

Submitted by PHIL_ROBERTS on September 01, 2021

1:27 min read
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Phil Roberts

I am 64 and loves cats, rock music, and horror fiction and poetry more…

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