JEFF KENNETT’S SECRET VICES

Phil Roberts 1957 (Melbourne)



Smiling smugly, like a loon
Before the state election,
1992, October 3.
Not a word about the doom
That upon reflexion,
We all should have foreseen.

Through August and September
His smile was leering wide,
He answered all our queries
With a stony silence;
Smugly refusing to admit
To any secret vices.
Then in October 1992
Jerky Jeffy came to power,
Now Victoria is going through
It’s very darkest hour.

There was no word of contracts
With employers to sign,
Or striking trade unions
Being outlawed or fined;
Of being sacked, without recourse
Or signing on the dotted line.
Nothing was said of contracts
That must be signed unread;
Of all our dreams of the future
All winding up stone dead.

No word about holidays
Getting cut right down to naught,
Of losing basic rights
For which we all fought.
Once our annual holidays
Got as high as four weeks,
Now its 3 weeks, or 2 weeks
Yes, the future looks bleak.

No word about leave loading
Getting the elbow,
Not a word about abolishing
All our worker’s compo.
No word about state schools
Pared down to the bone,
So that many young kids now
Just have to stay at home.

Not a word about rate bills
Doubled, then redoubled,
Of unpayable service charges
That land us all in trouble.
Not a word of the Met system
Being rapidly wound down;
Till for many Shanks’ Pony
Is the only transport around.

Not a word about bank fees
Going through the ceiling,
Of recurring “one off” charges
That leaves us all reeling.
Special deals for business
So householders must pay more;
Jeffy’s Liberal pariahs are
The wolf knocking at our door.

No word about hospitals
Forced to shut up shop,
Because Jerky Jeffy’s giving
Medicare the chop.
No word about closures
In a rush of mad hysteria,
Of the modern-day Bedlam
Once known as Victoria.

These are the secret vices
Jeff Kennett kept from us;
And how he repays us all
For voting him in on trust!

THE END
© Copyright 2021 Philip Roberts
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

About this poem

After the total mess that the John Caine government made of Victoria, including bankrupting the State Savings bank of Victoria, Jeff Kennett adopted an unusual approach to all his elections. Unlike most politicians who cannot shut-up during the run up to an election, Jeff Kennett never said a word, refusing to detail anyof his policies, and banning other Liberal state politicians from saying anything. He just stood smirking his shit-eater grin and looking like the idiot that he was. So when he implimented his most evil, Draconian policies, they were indeed "secret vices" since he never hinted at any of his policies in advance. 

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Written on February 13, 2009

Submitted by PHIL_ROBERTS on July 25, 2021

Modified on April 26, 2023

1:43 min read
3

Quick analysis:

Scheme AXBXAX BXCXXDBBXB EFXXXFEGBG HIXIHJJX KLKLXXXX XXDXMXXX CKDKNOXO XPKPXQMQ DNXX XXQ
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 1,878
Words 346
Stanzas 10
Stanza Lengths 6, 10, 10, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 4, 3

Phil Roberts

I turn 65 on the 31st of January 2022. I love cats, rock music, and horror fiction and poetry more…

All Phil Roberts poems | Phil Roberts Books

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