A VICTORIAN CHRISTMAS CAROL



“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
Banning Christmas Day;
“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
Banning overtime pay.

“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
Making carollers grieve;
“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
Rescinding all our leave.

“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
Jeff Kennett is the Scrooge;
“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
He’s the missing fourth Stooge.

“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
Now all our lives are murky;
“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
And Jeff’s the Christmas turkey.

“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
Our lives are full of rents;
He’s taxed us to the hilt
So we can’t afford presents.

“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
“You get no Christmas cheer!”
“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
And now our lives are drear.

“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
His gun is aimed at Rudolf;
“Bah!   Humbug!” cried der Fuhrer
“The Last Noel’s called off.”

THE END
© Copyright 2021 Philip Roberts
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

About this poem

A poem about Victorian fascist tyrant Jeff Kennett who removed most public holidays in Victoria, including Christmas and Boxing Day one year. He also removed overtime rates, too stupid to realise that he would have been better off banning overtime entirely, forcing grossl;y understaffed companies to start employing more people.

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Written on February 13, 2009

Submitted by PHIL_ROBERTS on July 25, 2021

Modified on March 05, 2023

48 sec read
12

Quick analysis:

Scheme AbAb AcAc AdAd AeAe Axxx AxAa AxAx xxx
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 973
Words 163
Stanzas 8
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 3

Phil Roberts

I turn 65 on the 31st of January 2022. I love cats, rock music, and horror fiction and poetry more…

All Phil Roberts poems | Phil Roberts Books

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