Selfishness

To feel the pain I now feel inside
To know that I made another soul cry
Would do more harm to me than good
To have tried to change things but never could
My life was riddled so long ago
The way it went no one could know
The troubles that pained me way down deep
The sickness that now prevents my sleep
These are not good things I want perceived
Nor the pain and suffering I wish to leave
Just a couple of memories to fill one’s head
To make you think long after I’m dead
The words I told you may make no sense
my methods of reasoning may seem pretty dense
I just wish I could be like most in the world
Happy and healthy and someone’s girl
But things for me just cannot be so
As I patiently wait for my turn to go
I hope you take from these words that I gave
Nothing else matters when you’re in the grave
So when it is time to face your own end
Leave words of hope so their hearts can mend