I’m Addict

I’m an addict but Not addict that Takes drugs but addict  that is addicted to pain and sadness. I feel and see my heart break over and over again and I know something is wrong but I hide it ,  tell myself it’s OK , it will get better , coming up with many stories in my head that is good for me and that I need it but it’s a lie . I’m addict & I’m addicted to pain and sadness.
Night time I cry myself to sleep
I cry on the inside I feel every pain inside of me but on the outside I’m fine I keep lying to myself over and over again for  what ? one more pain , one more sadness , me to feel empty inside
 for me to not love myself
for me to not know my worth even though I know my worth but I’m at addict &  I’m addicted.