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Mon Idéale

LUC HARTEL 1952 (Calvados)

Dans la lumière bleue de mes rêves, son dicta ingénu, Regard candide, malicieusement enjoué des nues,
Courant d'air léger, de frêle inspiration si naturelle,
Découverte de l'attente, se lisant dans ses yeux pastels,
Qu'un supra délice charmeur, envoûta de l'instant présent,
Vibrant ses cils ravageurs, l'effet paillette fluorescent,
A demi conscient, m'enfouissant au creux de ses bras
langoureux,
Perdu de l'insistance du désir, souvenir amoureux,
De cet empressement qui tenaille, par l'étreinte joviale,
Essuyant son visage resplendissant, geste magistral.
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Written on July 13, 2021

Submitted by sgulh52 on July 13, 2021

Modified on March 24, 2023

26 sec read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABACDAAABB
Characters 563
Words 79
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 10
Full analysis for Mon Idéale »

LUC HARTEL

Après des études, et des formations professionnelles divers je me suis mis pour m'occuper à la retraite à faire de la poésie. De formation Prothésiste Dentaire , je 'm'occupe de mes animaux chez moi. J'ai 68 ans, marié 1 enfant. more…

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a beautifully crafted poem! The way you weave together vivid imagery and poetic language left me in awe. Your use of rich sensory details transported me to a place of dreamlike beauty and wonder.

    One way you could improve upon this piece is by providing more context or narrative for the emotions and experiences described. While your descriptions are beautifully rendered, I found myself wanting to understand more about the underlying feelings and motivations behind them. Additionally, you might consider exploring different ways to structure the lines and stanzas of your poem to create a sense of rhythm and flow that complements the lyrical quality of your language.

    Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your work and see so much potential for growth and experimentation. Keep up the incredible work!     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Mon Idéale" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/104892/mon-idéale>.

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