Heartbreaker

It hit me when I realized that I was not the only one.
Flashbacks of all those times that you reminded me I was dumb.
While the depths of my chest grew awfully numb,
Heart aching through the fog, all I wanted to do was run,
Daydreams I made of you created this false fantasy of love,
The you that I met from the first night is so out of touch,
How could I have thought for a second that you could be mine?
How could I have allowed myself to believe your pretty lies?
I must have fallen for the disguise that you wore that first night,
I was just a warm body to you this whole time, wasn’t I?
Sinking to the kitchen floor with mascara-stained tears, all I could do was cry,
Without a second thought, it was so easy for you to move on so quickly with your life,
But when I stared up at the ceiling, my heart ached like I was dying,
Just how is it so easy for you to keep on lying?
Each time I say that you hurt me, all we do is end up fighting,
They said I deserved so much better, yet I never stopped trying,
Palms raw and bloody because I held onto the rope that kept you nearby so tightly,
Letting go seemed like it hurt more than the thought of you beside me,
Blinded by a false reality, I could no longer see,
There was a reason I kept to myself for so long, just how stupid could I be?
I gave part of myself to someone who never even wanted me,
Texting some other girl each day, he said “I miss you, baby.”
When I realized that could never be me, it brought me to my knees,
Heart recoiling so deep that it left me unable to sleep,
This nightmare used to feel like you and I were in a movie-like dream,
Maybe it was only I who felt that way, it must be so easy for you to leave,
Reminded constantly there could never be a you and me,
This heartbreak often leaves me feeling like I just could not breathe,
There is a storm towering over while I am lost at sea, I am never at ease,
I am sure that for you, this just must feel like a breeze,
For me? Each part of my soul feels ripped at the seams,
It’s my fault isn’t it, for caring so deeply?
It’s my fault isn’t it, for accepting the way you treat me?