Grandma

Grandma are you there? I can feel you here I swear even tho I know that you been gone 25 years, now the memories in my mind don't ever seem to disappear. Like when I was a child and my heart was full of fear, when my mama would go crazy having way to many beers, and steer. .Her life in the wrong direction, directly disrespecting the three children she was blessed with. she messed up end up in jail or being fed up.
She'd drop us quickly off at grandma's house.. and forget about, the fact that grandma was a mama to.. she did what she was suppose to do.
I remember riding in her cutlass I was feeling real cool with my ninja turtle shades and my matching underoos outfit and shoes.
She bought them for me since my clothes were worn and used.
We stopped off at a daycare and to me it was something new, soon as I tried to hop out she said no not you.
 Your mother is in jail and your father has set sail, I know it doesn't bode well granny can tell, but just as all my spirit started to fail a smile crossed her face I was confused as hell you'll spend the day with me now wont that be swell... Grandma, your wisdom would be great, my life is full of struggle that I just can't seem to shake.
Around the clock our granny saved us from the state but little did we know that one day it'd be too late, the doctor let her know her fate, then slowly granny started changing the hero that I knew would slowly begin fading. She saved me from the devil time and time and time again. When i was bruised when  i was cut up and my mama's love had run out, or in #17 when dude blew his damn head off.. I saw it all than she was there, grandma found a way to care, but cancer hit and that was it, no more safety net to catch me.. When I'm getting whipped by my mama and her drama, would unfold but I suppose i should've known, when grandma's health was getting low, and that chemo took a hold hair was all over the floor.
Her body was getting weaker this pool of tears inside was steady getting deeper, mama's disease was getting steeper, take it out on me she felt the need to make me bleed until 1995 when my grandma passed away, and the crying I could not hide since i knew deep down inside.
 This was the lady that has saved me from the creature that is crazy and now that she's no longer here my future will be hazy a whipping boy I will become, as an IT is how she'd raise me, but grandma you'd taught me well to deal with people plainly.
 I'm sorry that you died before you knew the man I would be, Lil Capone is the name you gave me, now im a man and i promise to be the best one that I can be, granny.