I Wish I Was The Wizard

I wish I was a tin man
Out there cutting wood;
I'd rely upon the lube can
To keep my elbows good.
All day I'd task and toil
Until it's time for tea,
And then I'd take a squirt of oil
To keep my knee joints free.

I'd dream about a girlfriend,
My dreams then turn to dust;
I comprehend at daytime's end
I'm just a heap of rust.
I'll never find a maid of tin,
It's tearing me apart,
As when I search my soul, within,
I find I have no heart.

I wish I was a scarecrow
Out living in a lea.
But all the critters there, though,
Just jest and laugh at me.
I stand about with outspread arms
Scaring off the birds,
I'm seldom heard around the farms...
I'm always lost for words.

I dream about a girl of straw
Lithe enough to squeeze;
My dreams then turn to chaff, and so
They blow off in the breeze.
I'll never get a spouse of hay,
My dreams swill down the drain;
I wouldn't know just what to say
I haven't got a brain.

I wish I was a lion, brave,
Roaring mighty roars;
Seeing off my foes to save
The world from mighty wars.
I'd spend my time a-prowling,
Vaunting round with pride,
Snarling and a-growling...
But all I do is hide.

I wish I had a lioness
To hunt and ply for me;
But that will never be, I guess ~
I'm cowardly, you see!
I have no courage for to ask
A feline for a date;
I have no luck ~ I have no pluck
I'll never find a mate.

So I wish I was the wizard
To save me from the storm;
My life is such a blizzard,
But who will keep me warm?
I long to be a magic man
The future I'd foresee...
But then again a better plan,
I'd rather just be me.