the universal red string of fate

At the end of the day all I can do is heal and grow...cannot dwell because those feelings never seem to get me anywhere...I still call it love because love is still there...
it’s love it’s not easy too understand,
 But I am not weak .
Grow and heal heal and grow i tell myself,
But it’s hard when all you have is the pain holding you down..
And love keeping you alive.
But I am not weak.
I will heal,
I will hurt,
but i will heal.
I hope when the strings do knot at the end of our lives,
we still love,
But i still hate you,
And you wanna know why?
because I fucking love you,
why do I have to love you,
Why do your words wound me so deep like a bullet in between my eyes,
I cut myself open for u,
And u can’t even spare a drop of blood for me?
I know everything can be turned depending on the eye,
But this is thru mine,
I know I need to be understanding,
 but I also need to be understood.
where did we get so lost in the communication?