heartache

heartache

i sit down on a gray leather seat
and my heart takes control

oh, it aches for the happier days
the gingerbread houses made from graham cracker days,
the animal crackers in paper cup days.

and, oh, it aches for the yellow bus days,
we would joke around about
any thing

oh, brain!
i loathe you!
how you have taken me away
from that
from all the days
i would sit and eat and read
about the things i care of most

oh society!
how have you done this!
taken away mine- and all of our-
childhoods
because we cannnot be cringey
as tweens
anymore

oh friends!
i love you all!
but if i speak when i was a kid,
i am boring!

oh soul!
i know you hate you.
but maybe nostalgia will help.
it seems to.

oh heart!
i know this hurts
all these memories of the past
while she- young me
must look at future me
i know it hurts
to see her face
and mine
as i see it too
she has hope
and strength
i have not.
she has dreams
i will fulfill those

not for her
but for you, heart
i will defy brain
as you wish,
you can have control,
but, alas
i am still young
i still am rated on how well i do
on a test
so you must wait

and until then
all i will have

heartache