Its Not Ok

I thought I'm ok with your death
I thought sleep will be easy
I thought there will be no tears
because I thought death is the answer to stop your struggle
but now I realized and understand
your real struggle is us.
You are more worried about us if  we can truly accept .
Now that you're gone and tomorrow I can no longer see you around.
I can no longer feed you and
no more spending holidays together but your memories will live forever.