disallowed emotion

As the wheels of emotion propel
slender feelings of pain, laced with a grin
I would not, could not feel my truth
never being able to deal with it
taught that emotions will weaken
the man that i will become, not now
throwing fists as a child, before learning embrace
I swallow my pride to humble beliefs
pain will always be my shadow
light is in a glittering dull
I only want to shut my eyes, alone again
open, fears surround me yet I am not afraid.