Fate

I need to die
I desire it so
I want life to be over
I want it to go.

I want these tears to stop
the ache to die down
but how do you dry
the tears of a clown?

I feel a breath
a sigh of relief
but for a shadow in the night
might be a thief.

But what can he steal
what can he take
I have here but nothing
just pain & heartache.

Perhaps it is my soul
he desires to obtain
but I'm sure he wouldn't want
to writhe in my pain.

So what could he want?
Why is he here?
does he not realize
I have no fear?

So I wonder why
he tiptoes through the hall
he needn't try to kill me
I'll willingly take the fall...

But I hear a voice
not that of a man
oh my God, I know that voice
it's the voice of Pam!

Now fear begins to build
my muscles lock
I nervously pray
for time to stop.

I know the pain will be bad
I've felt it before
here she comes
there's a knock at my door.

I hope this will be over
so very soon
I hear the creek of the door
as Pam enters the room.

She has a gun
I listen while she loads
I hope death comes soon
and quickly I go.

I hear her shout
I hear the scream
a sharp stabbing pain
I drift off to dream.

My mind sleeps lazily
my body's in pain
another attempted murder
lost in vain.

She swears revenge
she'll get me yet
but not if I beat her to it
and cause my own death.

So I plot the way
I shall take my life
for anything must be better
than this pain & this strife.

But instead of death
away I ran far
to Los Angeles, California
land of the bizarre.

And here among the weird
is where I feel safe
so long as I avoid the mirrors
I can avoid my fate.