All I do is pretend about my pain

The music doesn't drown my heartbeat.

The fatigue lies over like a thick sheet.

...

I cry, but my cries don't come out.

I sigh but instead my heaves rout.

...

I look up in my phonebook, and all I see are blobs.

I reach the end of the Z's and all I hear are sobs.

...

I want to distract myself, something sharp incites me over.

I choose my words carefully as every drop brings me closer.

...

Closer to the idea of getting it all out.

Closer to the idea of bringing an emotional drought.

...

My eyes close, but my mind doesn't.

My dreams come. But sleep doesn't.