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My addiction

I'm in this revolving door of recovery my arm sore from poor vein discovery
arm always tied tight my addiction and lies harm everybody in sight
No emotional appeal all the sacrifices I feel done in rehab till I'm let loose to devices
When its around I have no soul if I continue I'll be in a six foot hole
With my life there is no telling never thought I'd end up being a felon
Put us together it equals one bad case all my demons shook hands and took me to one bad place
I should have already been dead my worst enemy is in my own head
The track marks they're tracking all the pain always wearing long sleeves trying to hide my fuckin veins
A void I tried to fill pushing the plunger for thrills even knowing that it kills
I'm tired of being a liar and a thief and result is always homeless in the streets
I've been hating myself running on fears only thing in the spoon is a bunch of tears
Always trying to fill up the needle only position I end up in is fetal
Try the clinic thinkin tough next thing then liquid handcuffs
If I don't stop and try to learn I'll be on the news junkie found dead under the bridges she burned
For my kids to see their names under service by on the obituary page
My kids with a rose at my grave stone A coffin where I'll lay all alone
Being a dopefiend forgetting about class doing slimy shit cyphing peoples gas
I look for anything to sell I keep praying please get me out of this hell
This shit for me is life or death the devil threw me down 12 steps
Thank God I'm alive and still breathing able to try and still dreaming
I got a chance to still fight God made it where I can still get right this shit is vicious and mean takes you somewhere some people never even seen
I'll throw a prayer up to the sky for the ones out there still attempting suicide

About this poem

This poem is based on true events of my life. My past. My pain. Things I have endured in my addiction

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Submitted by jossdeuerling12 on June 10, 2021

1:50 min read

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    "My addiction" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 19 Jan. 2022. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/102403/my-addiction>.

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