I think I'm Broken

I wake up with a frown and tears in my eyes,
Because I pray to god everyday,
That I don’t ever awake.
To put a smile on my face,
Would be like to have 100 layers,
Of fresh makeup on,
Just so the frown could be covered,
But never erased.
Not once have you asked,
What it’s like to be in my place,
Which is fine cause if you asked,
I would tell you it’s quite okay.
I would tell you lies so,
You wouldn’t have to carry my pain.
I ask to be alone everyday,
Because I cannot stand to see,
The happy world.
I isolate myself because i’m a infestation,
Kinda just like some black mold,
I don’t know where my joy is,
I guess it has been long gone, sold,
Sometimes I just can’t bare my life,
These mental battles are getting too old.
But the only reason i’m still here,
Is because when I tried to overdose,
It didn’t work.
I just woke up,
Very sick and very cold,
Very weary and very dozed,
Very aware, feeling very joked,
But still,
Very unhappy that I survived,
And ultimately very alone.