DAYDREAM

Circling around LAX
My heart not taking any rest
Excited about the best
Thing to happen in my life

Visit the United States of America
Heard about it from 20000 miles afar
Seen it in the movies that played in India
Past 30 years that's the thought that caused sleep apnea

Dream remains a dream
Until this day unable to redeem
Seems so easy when it comes to others
I seem to be cought in a web of curse

Pursuing higher studies
In one of the universities
Bad judgment due to lack of clarity
But glad that I tried wholeheartedly

A fixation for decades
Self Actualization made it fade away
To be worthy true for any pursuit
Is that neccessary to go even as a tourist

Sense of competition
Driving force for Realisation
Of the dream into actuality
It existed only in my verbosity

Throwing out challenges
Completely hollow inside
No one takes you seriously
Cant blame them for that's the reality

Influenced only by movies
Come across a complete novice
Ability to go to America
Even did self enquiry to get the formula

First one to Express desire
False step till today I regret
Influenced friends and cousins to aspire
I'm the only one it still remains an aspiration

Kids and newborns
Have already visited
Not even born when it cought my fancy
Half a dozen visits already while for me it still remains a fantasy

Is it not in my Destiny
Am I not worthy
Is it a conspiracy
Are my mistakes so costly

Remains an illusion
For everyone else common
Unsolvable mystery
Decades in quandrary

Woke up from my sleep
Circling around LAX nothing
But a day dream
Wishful thinking years later
How do I answer the Visa officer

How is it easy
For everybody
But am impossibility
Only for me

Have asked many this question
None has the Solution
Many have offered  help
This happens only by self help