Wasted Time

The time that I've wasted is my biggest regret. Spent in these places I will never forget. Just sitting and thinking about the things that I've done, the crying, the laughing, the hurt and the fun. Now it's just me and my hard driven guilt, behind a wall of emptiness, I allowed to be built. I'm trapped in my body, just wanting to run, back to my youth, with it's laughter and fun. But the chase is over, and there's no place to hide, everything is gone, including my pride. With reality, suddenly, right in my face. I'm scared and alone, and stuck in this place. Now memories of the past, flash through my head, and the pain is obvious by the tears that I shed. I ask myself, why? Where did I go wrong? I guess I was weak, when I should have been strong. Living for the drugs and the wings I had grown, my feelings were lost, they were afraid to be shown. As I look at my past,  it's so easy to see, the fear that I had, I was afraid to be me. I'd pretend to be rugged, so fast and so cool. When I was actually lost, like a blind old fool. I'm getting to old for this tiresome game, of acting real hard, with no sense of shame. It's time that I change, and get on with my life, fulfilling my dreams, for a family and wife. What my future will hold, I really don't know, but, the years that I wasted, are starting to show. I just live for the day when I'll get a new start, and the dreams I still hold, deep in my heart. I hope I can make it, I at least have to try. Because I'm heading for death, and I don't want to die.