All My Life

All my life,
I've tottered, fearfully,
As if walking on a tight rope.
Stretched across a vast chasm,
Without a net below to catch me.

All my life,
I have trod gingerly, terrified,
As if on the crumbling rim
Of and active volcano,
About to explode at any moment.

All my life,
I have stumbled, jangling,
The shattered pieces of me,
Clattering, shaking and rattling inside of me,
Threatening to break me apart.

All my life,
I have spoke hesitantly,
Terrified to open my mouth.
That all will see clearly,
The ugliness that is inside of me.

All my life,
I have wondered,
Why am I as I am?
What is the purpose?
Why am I still here, ALIVE?

All my life,
I have waited, hoping, YEARNING,
For that one day, I will finally understand,
The why's and wherefore's,
Of the mystery which is all my life.

All my life,
I have believed that one day,
When I'm no longer of this world,
I will at last learned the reason,
Of why I've died and why I've lived all my life.