Analysis of `Desperate and Dan(the ugly sisters?)

Was it a piece of cheese, too much sherry or an onion, perhaps?
I had a dream last night-(more a nightmare) `bout two local chaps,
Reg and Bob Young -I call them Tendring`s own `Ollie and Stan`,
in our seasonal panto`- playing the ugly sisters-`Desperate and Dan`,
the mechanical movements, the sagging tums- `oh, those bandy legs`,
this pair have been around forever -it’s a recurring question that begs
an answer-just how much longer, is there any limit to what they will do,
this duo of comedy, who, in ballet terms(that’s a laugh)a `par de two?`
“Wot shall we wear-do we need any make up”-they asked at the start?
“No, come just as you are”, said the producer, you’ll both fit the part-
two knackered old birds, with droopy draws, full of avarice and woe
they made the roles easily their own-going where others dared not go,
this year’s production, wild `theatre unknown` was billed as `a first`,
the original script had to be amended, so as their knickers did not burst!!
------------------------

I panicked as I lay alone in the darkness, heavily perspiring in my bed,
I wanted to wake up, but try as I would , I could not-into Hell I was led,
but thankfully, this is not real and will materialise never (we hope!)
`cos if it does, I’m writing to my cousin-(he’s a good friend of the Pope) ,
He’ll come down quickly on this pair with a mighty Vatican thud, holy,
and this wily `alliance` will again be reduced to brothers `Roly and Poly!`
--------------------------
We love them really -with their harmless antics-long may they reign,
And our love and respect will continue, as always, just the same!

Jennifer K (14.1.2011)