Analysis of A View From The Floor



The ceiling is swirling,
heart pounding bricks,
sweat creeping down the nose
as eyes flicker like
the cornflake box
and their flakes - lying next
to these cold feet.

The milk still waves
from the table,
white drops amble
toward the ocean of me:
scraping the edges of reason,
looking for sanity
while the chest explores
the boundaries of anguish -
pain coming and going
as breath coughs,
blocking out the newsreader,
her voice just a tone
in the distance of the room.

I could have had it all,
this life was mine to kick,
to smile with and kiss,
and yet, here is the moment,
tasting like snot
on the lip of romance.
Still, at least it is a day off work,
well, forever off work,
stuff them all, let them rot
in their misery or joy of my passing,
I just won't care for I'll be dying still,
these moments stretched
like a bad dream, but reality
slapping the cheeks.
Maybe I'll lose yesterday's food,
ground now into waste,
perhaps it will slip from my bowels,
unnoticed because of my grief,
at least until the stench
joins hands with the cereal:
still showing their curves
to seduce me.

Spiritual existence
now awaits my frowns,
I might catch the adverts
of Christ - wrapping paper
and five pound vouchers
screaming buy me
as I rush upwards,
away from this old shell.
I hope the new one
has a better time than this.

Life - sweeps into death,
they make love slowly,
aroused by my pain,
laughing lovers, and they skip away,
leaving my last thought
buttering the toast I was going to have.


Scheme ABXXXXX XCCDEDXXAXFXX XXGXHXIIXAXXDXXXXXXCXD XXBFXDXXEG XDXXHX
Poetic Form
Metre 010110 1101 110101 11101 011 011101 1111 0111 1010 1110 0101011 10010110 101100 10101 0100110 110010 111 10101 01101 0010101 111111 111111 11101 0111010 1011 101101 111110111 101011 111111 01100111110 1111111101 1101 1011110 1001 1011101 11011 011111110 01001111 110101 1110100 11011 1011 1000010 10111 11101 111010 01110 1011 11110 011111 11011 1010111 11011 11110 01111 101001101 10111 10001111011
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 1,424
Words 274
Sentences 9
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 7, 13, 22, 10, 6
Lines Amount 58
Letters per line (avg) 20
Words per line (avg) 5
Letters per stanza (avg) 232
Words per stanza (avg) 55
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Submitted on June 04, 2010

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:23 min read
0

Ian Sawicki

Ian Sawicki has been writing poetry for over twenty years. He is a Manchester born poet, who has dedicated his life to exploration and composition of poetry. His work reflects the many great influential experiences of his life, the pain, the pleasure combined to create new exciting poetry. If anyone is interested in my books then please visit my lulu storefront. All artwork on these books is by my own hand. http://stores.lulu.com/chasingtheday more…

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