Analysis of Doing something nice, Only meant you cared

I have never loved anyone,
I have to admit.
I have only loved myself...
The reason is self- explanatory,
I will never let myself down,nor mistreat
myself...
I have never fed myself lies..
I have never asked something of myself, I could not afford to give,
If I gave you anything...
 I really wanted you to have it...
I think very highly of myself,
I am constantly de-cluttering my mind,
I don't have room to entertain certain things ..
I build escape- route all the time..
I seek to be better everyday...
Time is not automatic,
Nor is it giving away.
I seek seclusion,
Where light and darkness meet..
Darkness is something ,
 Being carefree couldn't beat...
Care-free is not a spirit like myself...
Screaming wanting more,
A wise man once said the darkest night is just before day...
Emptying my closest,
 Letting everything fall where it may....