Analysis of The View You Choose 2 Point 0



Somedays I feel like I'm surrounded by bars and bricks
encaged on a stage in tar that sticks.
There's an agonisingly unfamiliar reflection in the mirror,
as my eyes detect an unrecognisable inferior figure.

I can't see the stars in the sky at night,
and the sun doesn't rise to provide daylight,
creating days filled with unpleasant darkness,
feeling the hate, I will for heaven sent brightness.

It would be nice to see a flicker,
a shooting star or something quicker,
as my impaired eyes see unseeingly at paradise.

It seems these days have perfected imperfection and sadness,
as though infected but immune to antidote injections that stop madness,
and the bad feel projecting out onto these days seemingly disastrous.

So I turn to alcohol and slowly increase the dose
and down the booze until I doze,
to awake with the shakes that alcohol creates,
reaching straight for the glass of straight voddy,
drowning myself down in hate toward the junkie category.

A way I find that carries me through this hell that flattens me,
clouding my mind, shielding hurt that comes with thinking clarity.
Leaving me imprisoned and unable to escape this reality.

Somedays I feel like I'm surrounded by bars and bricks,
so I drink water and take vitamins to get far from my minds tricks.
My mind digs up thoughts sick and twisted
from the ditches of the mental scars life inflicted.

I see a full moon but no stars in the sky at night.
There must be a faint cloud blocking that far travelled light.
Throughout the day I stay active as it distracts the gloom
and subtracts it until a world seemingly more attractive resumes.

I shrug off the booze and don't meet the thugs
that deal drugs and rise above a life for chumps.
I start these days feeling down in the dumps,
but if I live the right way I move passed the grumps.

I feel that just the moonlight moves me to comfort,
I perk as I forget today and all that work.
Tomorrow is another first,
I think life offers more than I deserve.


Scheme Aabb ccdd bbx ddd xxxce eee Aaxx ccxx xaxa xxxx
Poetic Form
Metre 111110101101 11010111 1110100100010 1110111010010 1110100111 0011011011 01011101010 100111110110 111111010 010111010 1101111110 11111010010010 110101011100101110 001101011011100010 1111100100101 01010111 10110111001 101101111 10110101010100 01111101111111 101110111110100 1010100010101110 111110101101 11110011001111111 111111010 1010101011010 1101111100111 1110111011101 01011110110101 0110101100101001 1110101101 11101010111 1111101001 111101111101 11110111110 111101010111 0110101 1111011101
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 2,022
Words 354
Sentences 18
Stanzas 10
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 3, 3, 5, 3, 4, 4, 4, 4
Lines Amount 38
Letters per line (avg) 41
Words per line (avg) 9
Letters per stanza (avg) 157
Words per stanza (avg) 35
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Submitted by nick_trim on April 10, 2019

Modified on March 14, 2023

1:48 min read
23

Trim

Born in 1985, I didn't discover poetry until 2017, when out of the blue I wrote my first poem. Since then I have had 2 poems published, 2 poems used by separate schools and 1 poem read out on American radio. more…

All Trim poems | Trim Books

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