Analysis of Your Birthday Night

It's your birthday again today
and the early hours pass steadily
but I'm back in that night
when I alone kept watch over you,
listened to how your breath sounded,
in a room that reeked of disease,
my laptop on my lap,
working for my bread,
because one has to do something.

There was nothing else in that room,
just the sound of the pump.
It stood there cold and clumsy,
and your moans now and then
confirmed to me: you were tired of your pains.

The hours ticked by slowly
and you, were you still aware of me,
when I moistened your mouth again,
gently touched your sunken cheek?

This could take days, weeks,
you were so strong with all your flaws.

By morning, however, peace came
your breath stopped, your fire extinguished
and I then gently kissed you good-bye.