Analysis of A monster inside me



A monster inside me

I write and paint in so many different coloured inked pens and paintbrushes, but the ultimate result is always a black and white illustrations with no meaning,

I scream and yell to find help but all I can get is being looked on as a monster, trying to speak in a low tone then i remember  that my chords were devoured,

I see a lot of people around me but when I touch them, they disappear then i call mom but she can't hear me because all  the attention is at the littles ones, yet dad can't see them or maybe is part of them,

I even forgot the deals I made with the Creator because when I close my eyes, I see more than just what I can ever describe to a sane human,

Am always blamed and dehumanized even in my absence, silent not to reply but still called dumb for not responding forgetting that my silence is my last resort and the least I could wholeheartedly offer,

Am called weirdo by my age mates, outlaw by the social ramifications and those who think they saw it all, Living a life of paying debts which i ask if indeed they were mine, moving and toiling under other shadows and wanna-bes to impress others keeping me as the sole sacrifice yet seen as the innocent, silly, docile and adamant one of all,

I’m told to dish respect to everyone even if it falls from my platter but all in favours of the emblemed minorities who stand godly and spotless, am a stranger in my own body, some call me fat and others call me obese,

I try to loose weight but still called me too skinny seems am positive, Others  am too tall this can't be my dad, others am too short it seems am disabled, am too black to be human thats why they donate me abanana, others am too brown and that automatically makes me a racist,

All these are the monsters I deal with every day,at school, church, Social media  and my last hopes are left within colored pencils Trying to illustrate those monsters with in me yet those i illustrate too say its not colored enough to see the monsters.

Many have predicted my failure since the day I first took a step and my smile reigns havoc to many souls both dead and living, Many are afraid of speaking up and still many baptized it all names as anxiety, curiosity, ignorance, inexperience but I call it depression …. the only inward killing poison that no one sells but most buy,

I drench on this poisonous pill even when my voice is hoarse and blurred.


Scheme X X A X X X X X X X X A
Poetic Form
Metre 010011 11010110100101101010100011101010101110 11011111111111011101010110011110101110010 1101110011111111011111111110110010110101111111101111 11001011110010011111111111111100110110 1110010010011010110111111101001011101110100111100010 111011111101000100111111110011101111101101100101010101011011010110110111010010100100111 11110111010111111011011010100111001010100111011110101101 1111111111101110010111111111011111101011111101111111011101010011010 1110101111001111010001111101101010110110101111101111100111010 10101011010111101011110110111010101011101011001111101000100100010011110100101010101111111 11111001101111101
Characters 2,411
Words 476
Sentences 4
Stanzas 12
Stanza Lengths 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1
Lines Amount 12
Letters per line (avg) 158
Words per line (avg) 38
Letters per stanza (avg) 158
Words per stanza (avg) 38

About this poem

We tend to criticize and judge other people's looks as if we are perfect, and most cases the criticism end to be with a dangerous impact onto them

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Written on September 17, 2022

Submitted by lubega.ibrak on September 19, 2022

Modified on March 08, 2023

2:23 min read
7

A monster inside me

Lubega Ibrahim is a Ugandan journalist with a degree from Islamic university in Uganda more…

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