Analysis of Black Veins



You're like a Victorian ghost,
And, I, the new host.
The rustic door creaks,
Heaving like a body gone antique.
My vision takes in the gore,
I hoped this became a place I adored.  

What was this feeling?
My deepest, darkest sins come revealing.
Quaintly, somehow, a soft whisper, "mi amor."
Did my heart want more?
Specks of dust filtered through everything that ever lived,
Mirroring and shadowing as I did.

"I just don't know," I stubbed out my cigarette,
But your bones felt like we had met.
Foolishly given but never smitten,
Your tragedy only ever to be written.
You always felt like a dusty brothel,
Crowded spaces, random faces, never your betrothal.

Faint sunlight settling on the places you walked,
My footprints over yours now mocked.
You wreak havoc to show you're still here,
Slash me with the knife you hold on to so dear.
Was it you I smelled through the asbestos?
Dear Lord, you can't let it molest us.

Oh, my mind is in a state of hysteria,
Grey, critical, slowing spreading like diphtheria.
One heart that doesn't pump blood,
And another body that refused to feel loved.
Closed my eyes and trusted you,
Let you take me in, but an apparition shone through.

Be careful what you wished for,
Once, twice, you're forever a memorable whore.
Fucking was just another rep,
Through the eyes of someone else, you watched every step.
"I have to push you away",
You seemed too sincere, "please stay."

Could I now call you mine?
Your worth is just another dime.
But I will let go,
In this place, you will never grow.
Forever is not the present,
Raped, you learnt as an adolescent.

You couldn't mask how I bruised you,
Like a caged Bird; bleeding, dying, you never flew.
The ghost in my room was brave,
And I, her new slave.
Walls so quaintly tainted,
Musk scented stench on your body always painted.

Taught me that I was more than enough,
But you knew nothing of lust.
Heart on my sleeve,
You sought asylum here but I refused to believe.
You see, my mind had played tricks before,
But I always craved more.

Did you learn that hope is just a word,
But with you, my heart was constantly stirred.
My dear melancholia, I took your notes,
But I, a man, no matter what I diagnose,
Will never know how your skin felt up close.
I kiss your silhouette goodnight, Mi último adiós.


Scheme AABXCX DDXCXE FFGGHH XXXXBB IIJXKK CCLLMM XXNNOO KKPPEJ XXQQCC RRBBBB
Poetic Form
Metre 11001001 01011 01011 101010101 1101001 1110101101 11110 1101011010 1010110110 11111 111101101101 1000100111 1111111101 11111111 1001011010 110010101110 111101010 101010101011 11100101011 1110111 111011111 11101111111 1111110010 111111011 111100110100 1100101010100 1111011 001010101111 1110101 111101101011 1101111 111010010001 10110101 101111111001 1111101 1110111 111111 11110101 11111 01111101 01011010 11111010 11011111 101110101101 0101111 01011 111010 11011110110 111111101 1111011 1111 1101011101101 111111101 11111 111111101 1111111001 1111111 11011101101 1101111111 1110111111
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 2,311
Words 484
Sentences 34
Stanzas 10
Stanza Lengths 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6, 6
Lines Amount 60
Letters per line (avg) 29
Words per line (avg) 7
Letters per stanza (avg) 175
Words per stanza (avg) 41
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Written on August 13, 2021

Submitted by fancydrizzy501 on August 31, 2022

Modified on March 05, 2023

2:26 min read
45

Snowber Vaqar

I was born in a small city where the weather is too perfect for my taste. When in Doon, you can see me sketching out wild ideas, trying to read people’s minds or even sometimes engrossed in writing in a small cafe where the air is always fragrant with freshly brewed coffee. more…

All Snowber Vaqar poems | Snowber Vaqar Books

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