Analysis of My days

Pent up frustration
My eyes flooded
My heart boils
Destructive are my thoughts
My city of gold crumbles
My peace of mind shattered
See my anxiety
Stresses me out
It sneaks up on me
I cower in fear
Afraid of what I could do but won't
My coping mechanisms, don't help
Scared of the possibility of hurting someone else
My self interests
Mere ideals of my ego
I dwell in my consciousness
Passed the borderline of insanity
Consumed
Fumed
My bruised soul finds pleasure in hate
I feed on negativity
Shut, a sleep, unconscious
Floating, lost
Unfound
Blue, bright
They say I illuminate
They say my poems speak to them
Well thank you
Much appreciated
I do it to soothe my tormented soul
I'm sick
I'm less motivated
It's beyond, just being lazy
I am a tool
Used for my own self interests
It's not selfishness
I'm just evaluating
You know trying to find myself
I'm just trying to be like you
Happy
And yet they look for my demise
They point my imperfections
They create paths for me
Thorny, narrow
I feel uncomfortable
It's twisted
It's toxic
To be honest
The fortitude
Crumbling
Forced to open up
I thought my tears said it all
I know I'm lacking
I can't always be right
The self bubbling rage
Ready to burst
Suppressing it
I'm trying
Just another walking contradiction
Negativity is positively acceptable
The era of criticism
toxicity
Trying to love everybody
Without loving just any body
They pick out you out

They hate my ideals
I bore them
They
Push me away
My words are rooted
Through out
Your dreams, subconsciously annoyed by my views
Drilled
Shut
Unnoticed, you'll borrow my words
Like a shadow
You'll follow
And hope to see what I see