Analysis of to all of the people who call girls pretty



Right now, as I sit down to
write this poem, I am wearing
sweatpants and a sweatshirt,
my hair is pulled up.
And this is not to point and be
like “Oh! I am not like the other girls!”
Because about 50% of the girls
at my high school look just like me.
I am white, I am blonde, I am 5’5
and slouching, I really am basic.
I wear glasses and that may be
my only distinguishing feature, but
I am what everyone would call “average”
Average in the nice way.
Average in the good way.
Average in the “almost hot” way.
See, while I’m wearing baggy
sweat-clothes and I hide my hair,
under all of that, I have a body.
Some people might
consider me only a body.
Nothing else but a body.
And that is why I do this.

My mother asks me in the morning,
”Why don’t you wear nice clothes?
Why this? I can’t see you in this.
You’re drowning in the fabric.”
No mom, I’m not drowning in fabric.
I can breathe just fine. I breathe better
in these clothes than I do in anything else.
I can afford to breathe in these clothes.
I tell her it is for comfort, that I am going
school and I am there to learn, not to look pretty.

She is like,”I get that, but you want people
to think you take care of yourself. That
you take pride in your appearance.”
I take pride in my appearance.
I find joy in what I am wearing.
What I am wearing may not be unique,
but it is me, and me is the best thing I can be.

What she means by “you aren’t
taking care of you appearance”,
Is that “you don’t look pretty enough”.
“No one can you see you there.”
“The guys can’t see you there”
And I know she doesn’t want to
say it, but that is what she means.
And honestly? She is right.
The guys don’t see me.
And that’s a good thing.

Because I am one of the few
girls in my grade, in my age group,
With my body type, and blonde hair,
and big chest, and actual hips, with
 a real figure under all of this fabric,
That has not dealt with
harassment on a daily basis.
I do not get cat called, I’ve never
been whistled at, I’ve never been
touched inappropriately by a stranger,
I've never had someone drive by
and go “nice a**!”. I've never had
that issue. I’m one of the lucky ones.
Most of the people I know have been
dealing with that issue since they
were 12, since according to others
they are women, since nature has taken
its course. I haven’t, and I consider that
a blessing I am going to try and keep.
You think I am blessed by what is
under my shirt but I think I am blessed
because no one has noticed it.

Because I am aware. I understand
that this is how the world works.
I know what I have and that people
are looking at me and I don’t
want people to look at me.
That is the reason I wear these clothes.
If I wear clothes that cover all of this
up, no one is going to whistle at me.
No one is going to see it.
If I have no curves,
there is nothing to honk at.
If I do not stand out,
no one is going to step on me.

When my mom asks,
”Are you getting bad again?”
She is referring to the years I
was dealing with depression.
The years I didn’t take care of myself.
The weeks I never washed my
hair or brushed it and watched
it get matted with apathy.
I did not get out of bed for days.
I gained weight but I never ate.
I did not even care. I was too busy
trying to figure how everything worked,
why I didn’t work, why I was broken.
I never worried about what I looked like.
I did not try and take care of myself,
not even a little bit.

So when she asks if I am getting bad
again, I looked at myself in the mirror.
Do I look sad? Do I look broken?
No. I look like a survivor.
My hair is brushed,
my teeth are cleaned,
I have the best grades
I have had in years,
I am the best emotionally
than I have been in years.
I actually remember yesterday,
which is an important distinction
from years ago, where I was
unable to remember a thing.

I am saying I am healed and
you are telling me I look bad.
I am saying that I won, that I am
a hero, and you say I look like a slob.
I am looking down at everyone from
the mountain I’ve climbed,
screaming,”Look what I’ve done!”
And all you ask is why I
am not wearing a skirt.  

The thing is, if I am wearing oversized
sweat pants and sweatshirts, they will
still envision in me in less clothes.
They will picture me in tight shorts
and some random skimpy shirt.
But if I wear the short shorts and
the thin crop top, they will imagine
me in nothing but bed sheets.
Or worse, in their trunk.
And I do not want to deal with that.

I went shopping for clothes with
my mother because I had lost weight.
And no, I did not do it on purpose.
Please don’t compliment me.
Weight loss is not an achievement
but just something that happens.
They say that I have gotten skinny
but I have always been skinny and
it does not even matter if I am.
It should not matter if I
am a size 6 or 10 or 13.
It should not matter if I fit inside
the Barbie doll box you made for me.
Regardless of if it is 120 or 150 pounds,
I still have a body to hide.

So I am going to get clothes because
the ones I have do not fit me anymore.
At least, that is what my mother says.
It is probably because she does not
like the clothes that I own and is trying
to convince me to get something new.
It will not work.

Then she points out the
taboo subject- the undergarments.
The bras and the underwear.
Shocker- I wear them. We all do.
And she is like “oh isn’t that one
pretty? Do you like that?”
It has lace. It is covered in
a colorful flower pattern.
It is grown up, it is adult.
And I am 17.
I guess I am a “grown up” now.
She wants me to wear
those flimsy undergarments.
Pretty clothes under my *clothes* clothes.

No one is going to see them, I tell her.
No one is going to see that-
why does it matter if it is pretty?
She says “It just does.”
And the unintentional silent answer
is because someone might see.
I might go home one day and not make it.
I might end up in an alley somewhere,
and you want the rap***
to commend my fashion choices.
You want them to think that’s pretty.
I do not want them to think that’s pretty.

You think I would look prettier
if I wore different clothes.
It should not matter what I am wearing-
Because according to God
I am beautiful just the way I am.
According to my pastor,
I am beautiful the way I am.
According to the hundred older men
that watch me enter church
on Sunday morning, I am beautiful.
I do not want to be beautiful

When people say “You’re pretty”,
what they mean is they like looking at you.
When they say “You’re beautiful”,
what they mean is they want to touch you.
What I’m trying to say is I do not want
to be seen as something on sale.  
I do not want people to try and take me.
I want to be the item in the store
that will never get bought.
And what I am not saying that the
girl in the short shorts and
the crop top is a clearance rack.
I am saying that we are
not clothes for others to try on.
I am saying that we are more
than just bodies, just skin,
just something to look at

What I want to say to the girl
in the nicer clothes than mine,
Is that I do not think she is pretty.
I do not think she is beautiful.
I think she is courageous
and powerful and full of strength.

What I want to say is
that I am proud of her.


Scheme Text too long
Poetic Form
Metre 1111111 11101110 1001 11111 01111101 1111110101 0101101 11111111 11111111 010110110 11100111 1100100101 1111011100 1000011 1000011 10000111 1111010 1101111 1011111010 1101 010110010 1011010 0111111 110110010 111111 11111101 1100010 111110010 111111110 0111110101 110111011 1101111011110 101111111110 1111111110 111111011 11101010 11101010 111011110 1111011101 1111011011111 1111110 10111010 111111001 1111111 011111 0111111 11111111 0100111 01111 01011 01111101 10110111 11101011 011010011 01101011110 11111 010101010 111111110 11011101 10010001010 1101111 01101101 1101110101 110101111 10111011 01010110 1110110110 1111010101 01011101101 11111111 1011111111 01111101 011101101 1111011 111110110 11011011 1101111 110101111 1111110111 11111011011 11110111 11111 1110111 111111 111101111 1111 1110101 110101011 1101010 01111111 0111011 111101 1111100 111111111 11111101 11110111110 101101101 111111110 11010011111 111101111 1100101 1111111101 0111110010 111111110 11110010 1111 1111 11011 11101 11010100 111101 110001010 111010010 1101111 010101001 11101110 11101111 1110111111 01001111101 111011101 01011 1111 0111111 111001 0111111010 110111 101001011 11101011 0110101 11110110 011111010 1010111 11011 011111111 1110111 110011111 0111111110 111001 11111010 1110110 111111010 11111100 1111010111 1111011 10111 1111011101 010111111 010111111 11101011 1111011101 0111111101 111111101 1110001111 1011110110 101111101 1111 11110 01010100 010010 10111111 01111111 101111 11111100 01001010 11111101 011 11110111 11111 110100 10110111 11110111110 11110111 1111011110 11111 0001001010 101111 1111110111 111101101 01101 10111010 11111110 1111111110 11111100 1111001 1111011110 0101011 1110010111 0101110 111000111 0101010101 111101 111011100 111111100 1101110 1111111011 1111100 111111111 11101111111 11111011 11111011011 1111010001 111011 011111010 100110 01110101 1110111 11110111 11101111 111011 110111 11111101 0010111 1111111110 111111100 1111010 01000111 111111 111110
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 7,460
Words 1,694
Sentences 124
Stanzas 18
Stanza Lengths 23, 10, 7, 10, 22, 13, 16, 14, 9, 10, 15, 7, 14, 12, 11, 17, 6, 2
Lines Amount 218
Letters per line (avg) 25
Words per line (avg) 7
Letters per stanza (avg) 300
Words per stanza (avg) 81
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Submitted by ghosti on January 12, 2022

Modified on March 28, 2023

8:29 min read
11

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