ALL STUCK UP (The Misadventures Of Luke, poem#3)
by
Gary Hill
This is the 3rd poem in my Misadventures Of Luke series.
Luke’s been playing with the glue again
Now everything sticks everywhere
There’s food glued to the table
And his bum is glued to the chair
My feet are glued to the floorboards
My hands are glued to my side
I’ve even noticed a bird or two
Glued to the branches outside
I can see it will be one of those days
Clearing this will take forever
I was going to read my favourite book
But the pages are glued together
So I wouldn’t visit right now
Because things are a little bit wacky
And you may not be able to leave
What with everything being so tacky
So I think I’ll just stand here awhile
To be honest I’m frightened to sit
Maybe tomorrow will be better
As for today, well I’m stuck with it.
Luke’s been playing with the glue again
Now everything sticks everywhere
There’s food glued to the table
And his bum is glued to the chair
My feet are glued to the floorboards
My hands are glued to my side
I’ve even noticed a bird or two
Glued to the branches outside
I can see it will be one of those days
Clearing this will take forever
I was going to read my favourite book
But the pages are glued together
So I wouldn’t visit right now
Because things are a little bit wacky
And you may not be able to leave
What with everything being so tacky
So I think I’ll just stand here awhile
To be honest I’m frightened to sit
Maybe tomorrow will be better
As for today, well I’m stuck with it.
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Poetry.com 4.3 out of 5 based on 7 votes.
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wondefrul idea wrapped in verse
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keep it up
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Sometimes it is cool to be stuck, for observations sake.
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Consider the following minor revisions:
1. "I've even noticed a bird or two" instead of "I've even noticed the odd bird or two"
2. "Clearing this will take forever" instead of "Clearing this up will take forever"
3. "But the pages are glued together" instead of "...all glued together"
4. "So I wouldn't visit right now" instead of "...come and visit right now"
5. "With everything being so tacky" instead of "What with everything being a bit tacky."
6. "So I think I'll just stand here awhile" instead of ".....for awhile."
7. "Maybe tomorrow will be better" instead of "...will be a bit better.'
Moreover, excessive use of "bit" weakens the voice and, so, the poem.
I really liked the fit of the humorous theme and the list structure as well as the cleverness and set up of the closing pun.
Overall, a poem worthy of the word and a commendable effort showing much promise. Keep writing!
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Nice sense of humor. Enjoyed!
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OK
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WELL SAID
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