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Cant love everyone!!!!!

It started out perfectly, like everything usually....
Lets fast forward is this man really abuseing me?
We use to have dinner, cold walks in December, and i remember when we use to talk for hours and got in the same shower.
Yet know he devowered, my whole demeanor and my selfesteem hunh!
He use to call me baby and hunny, now its yo, blood,and money.
He use to dress me and impresss me, now all he does is neglect me.
He creept in slow like a well know robber, he stole it so fast that i couldnt even offer it.
 MY Heart.. was on the table!!
And ive never been loved so it fit right on his hand like a custom made glove!
I was his secretary for his down falls.
So when something happened i would take the blame, blinded by love made me feel ashamed.
So on the outside looking in, even to my next to kin, he was the perfect man....
But even Mr.Perfect had a closet, and because of everyone hanging there suites in it before me i had to play tailor.
Doing full time labor, trying to prove i wasnt like the rest, wanting to past his test, not guess that he would acctually be my downfall.
Blackeyes and bruised arms didnt set off any alarms...
Untill it was one of our usuall fights and i saw the light!
This man chocked me untill i was unconscious and he did it consciously!
As i came too he was laughing like he had heard a joke as i looked at these red marks streched out around my throat.
Reality set in that my life was in danger because of the anger of this stranger.
And i say stranger because i couldnt have known him well enough, no dinners with daddy cause i never even met him, no meetings wit mom cause the streets already had her!
So this was all wrong from the begging all straight sinning
But i thought i was winning
Cause
This man said HE LOVED ME.......
So i did the dummy 
Found out not one,not two, yet three seeds i allowed him to plant inside my tummy..
Thinking that this will change him, i got his life growing on the inside of me!!!!!.
But truth be told he grew real bold wishing death on me and my new glows.
Him saying who do i think iam???
But i stayed letting time go by, because i had wishful thoughts, and a Godly eye. 
Me thinking, the power of prayer is something else.
I think this was way too much for God, i think he put this prayer back on the shelf.!!
Selfish, Insecure, and Crazy all of the things that described my baby...As i paraised him like he was the Holy Spirit ....Or Amaaaaaazzzzziiiinnnnng GRRRRRRaaaaacccceee, but the sound was never sweet..
Cuz as he went upside my head thoughts of suicide slowly began to creep...
Okay you won,i cant escape you, so ill embrace you..
Trying to figure out why, everyone that comes around dont notice me being down.....
Am i not making a loud enough sound????????
Because here i am bound, with this mans burdens, taking a many hurtings, just because he wasnt certain, oooooohhhhhhhhh i feel the Devil lurking,
But i love Christ and im gone do whats right!!! Not giving upon this man accepting this fight....
He will change, yes he will cuz guess whati tatted his name..
Coming from his aim playing his game, Cuz love had to be proven from what he taught me..
Even at work he still stalked me...
Someone join me on this walk please.
Got so bad i couldnt even tinkle in the middle of the night.
"where you going" if i caught his eye..
"Well baby there are only three rooms, the kitchen, living room, or bathrooom, you choose"
See i mistaken that for love
But it was Controll, Power and straight absurb....
Back to the basics, i feel like takeing my life is the only way to escape it...
I got this hole gapeing, as i take off my cape and I discover, im not God!!!!!!
Im just a mother dealing with a brother, that i should have used a rubber, Cuz everyone ain to be loved!!!!!!!                    .             
   
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Jasmyne Branch More than 1 year ago
Its a spoken word piece..you have to know the mood and demenor..
Poetry.com 3.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 0 reviews.
anjum wasim dar More than 1 year ago
Great flow in the narrative style, kept me reading till the very last line.Important subject dealt well.
Michael Howard More than 1 year ago
good job
Tiago Monteiro More than 1 year ago
amazing stuff,
yvonne sensing More than 1 year ago
I agree
Barbara Cadogan More than 1 year ago
Correction of many spelling errors will enhance your poem.otherwise liked it.
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