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Depression and intentions of suicide

With that thought in your head
You cant help but cry
you cant help but hurt
They tell me to stop and get up
to stop being depressed
that i have no reason for it..
I.. I have no reason?
Do you have a reason to tell me to stop?
do you have a reason other than selfish intention ?
Do you want to see me happy?
or are you just tired of seeing me like this
seeing me do nothing but sit here
and stare at things
and not eat
or some days eat a lot
or cry, and cry , and cry
or be angry, so f*ck*ng angry
for no reason?
I.. I have no reason.
I dont need a reason to feel like this
I JUST DO! OK?
you dont tell someone thats broken their foot to get up and walk it off
You wouldnt tell a girl thats blind to suck it up and read
You wouldnt tell a kid that her leukemia is 'all in her head'
You wouldnt tell a paraplegic to get out of his wheelechair and walk
You wouldnt tell someone thats in a coma to pull themselves togther
So please...
Tell me,
How is depression
any diffrent?
How am i, a child, mind you
Supposed to get through this
with the snap of your fingers?
Im sorry, if it bothers you, to see me like this
Im sorry, that because of me, You hate life
Im sorry , that because of me, you turned to drugs
but are you sorry that your making it worse
are you aware that you are causing some of this
are you aware that i want to kill myself?
are you aware that i sit here crying now?
are you .. do you even notice
do you?
will you ever?
have you ever?

Im sorry.
Im sorry if my crying is annoying
or that my medications cost too much
or that CPS Came because of you.
but its still being blamed on me
and thats fine
Maybe one day you'll regret it
but by that time i'd be dead
Maybe you'll wake up tomorow
and find that im gone
maybe dead
or just gone.

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Poetry.com 4 out of 5 based on 4 votes.
Allen Lucas More than 1 year ago
I've been there, have spent days, weeks and months in a padded room. Life can be better, but it takes help, and you got to ask for it. Life is worth living, just got to get on the right path. Mental Pain is the worst pain. There are people out there in the world that do care. I do. Peace be upon you. I came back from the walking dead, so can you.
Brittany Nault More than 1 year ago
Writing is the only thing that keeps me from fully falling apart. I expect that when my parent see's this, She'll stop threatening me with a mental hospital and actually finally take me to one.
Richard Donnelly More than 1 year ago
I can not help but feel your pain, for what you write is so true
Anna Laurencio More than 1 year ago
good write, well done
KR BALAKRISHNAN More than 1 year ago
Very touching..
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